i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
