Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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