8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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