It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
