Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
