we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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