Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
