her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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