You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
