I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize