My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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