i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
