Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
