i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
