hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
