I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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