It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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