Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
