Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
