Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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