I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
