That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize