hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
