is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
