It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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