Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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