Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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