Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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