Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
