Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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