This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
