so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
