There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
