I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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