I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
