you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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