hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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