Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
