Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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