I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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