Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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