i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
