All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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