She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
