Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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