I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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