I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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