In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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