put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
