I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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