when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
