come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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