is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm at about main and main street
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
