There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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