So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
