I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
