Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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