I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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