nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
