Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
