Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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