i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
