I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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