Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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